Sex, lies & videotape

Bl-1nO1IQAA9_Y2The great thing about being in a band, or even just being with the band, is that you acquire a second family.

Ok, so it’s not your typical family unit, but it’s a family none the less. Everyone takes on roles, and while the band members all seem to take on that of an immature womanising brother, those around them take on the more nurturing roles. The tour manager is like a dad, the roadies are awesome old uncles with the best stories and then you have the female roles… always taken on by the groupies.

I will forgive you for thinking that a groupie is just some girl who tags along with the band in exchange for sex, because that’s what everyone thinks. Maybe that was true ones upon a time – and even now to an extent – but I am taking the term back and I am owning it, because these days we’re so much more. A groupie will take on the female roles. Yes, sometimes that might be a girlfriend type role, but more often than not you’re playing mum to the silly little boys, making sure they behave (as much as possible), making sure that they eat, that they wash…

Yep, we’re a family, and like most families we fall out from time to time, but unlike your real family these people are not blood relatives and without that bond things can get messy.

When you’re friends, it’s all fun and games. Everyone is misbehaving but hey, you’re all friends, what’s there to worry about?

Allow me to set a scene for you. Say you’re in a hotel room with a band member when you hear someone coming in. You both decide to hide, jumping into the wardrobe and pulling the doors closed behind you. Through the cut-out pattern in the wood you can see perfectly who it is – it’s another member of the band, and he’s with a different bandmate’s girlfriend. And then… they start having sex. What do you do? Well, the band member you’re with decides to film it. Suddenly he has something over a member of his second family, something he could use to his advantage. Everything will be just fine so long as things go his way, but when they don’t you can guarantee he’s going to use this leverage wisely.

I imagine if that were you in that wardrobe with that band boy, you’d be dreading the day it all came out… because secrets and lies will ruin any family, even the ones we’re not born in to.


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